NSFW Sunday Will Seduce Your Own Truly Awkward Lesbian Intercourse Stories! | Autostraddle

Welcome to Embarrassing Lesbian Intercourse Story-Fest 2012!

If you’ve forgotten about:

Have you ever observed how whenever any person brings up one thing gross about lesbian gender, we constantly backlink to
the fingernails blog post
? This is because websites badly does not have the lesbian/bisexual/queer-girl-person sex same in principle as Cosmopolitan’s Sex Stories or Sassy’s

Mortifying Times.

You might have an awkward gender tale you intend to tell websites. For gifts! Your own story could be short or very long (50 to 4500 terms appears when it comes to proper) might end up being cringe-worthy or hilarious.

The winner will get the Pop the leading package from
Great Oscillations
(a version of this package was previously
examined by NSFW Sunday
), which include:

+ Hitachi Secret Wand

+ Fuchsia Pop Top Deluxe Silicone accessory

+ 2 oz. package of Please Liquid Lube

+ And internet fame!

Vote for the favorite from now until tuesday
! The champion might be established a few weeks. Nowadays: it’s the perfect time. Down the page, the quintessential uncomfortable, mortifying, embarrassing, or humorous lesbian sex tales submitted by you.

---

1. Lesbian Auto-Sex

My recent gf and I had been on all of our way back from cinema one night, also because I wasn’t sleeping over we chose to pull-over into an area in order to make „use” of my car. Extended story short, we’d great intercourse and decided to keep, we decided to go to change the car around, plus it was totally trapped inside dirt. We attempted every little thing to have it away, such as her wanting to push it creating the woman slipping flat on her behalf face in the dirt. Ultimately I experienced to phone my Dad (just who failed to know about gayness or mentioned gf) at 1:30 a.m., describe we had been stuck in a field, the reason why in the world we would actually experienced industry after all, and get him to come tow united states out.

+

2. Not Sex in the Beach

You understand how they claim that „intercourse about coastline” is truly sensuous and interesting and even have a beverage named after it? Really that’s BULLSHIT. Although the person who „they” are likely intended like, a cozy sunny coastline with covers and possibly a chaise, rather than a cold, windy night on New york Beach which, if you should ben’t through the Los Angeles location, is like the anus of coastlines … in a bad method. Anyways, i want down on this girl i am matchmaking, although wind keeps blowing mud during my face/in this lady pussy, and that I’m coughing and it’s really more or less humiliating. In order that had been poor. But how do I get myself? We go back to the woman place, where I go to get therefore stoned that we actually COULDN’T GET A HOLD OF HER VAGINA. Cannot think it is. We passed on somewhere around the woman legs. The worst component is actually, bc the lesbo neighborhood in Los Angeles is so small, we see her constantly. As a vintage YM issue might say, OMG MORTIFYING.

+

3. Fucking therefore the authorities

The summertime before university, I got my personal first girlfriend, and when i came across the marvels of gay sexytimes I found myself certainly preoccupied, to the point of being ready to get it done nearly anywhere. Exhibit A: one-night after a dinner out, we decided to park my car behind a closed-for-the-summer basic class and go at it. A female’s gotta would what a female’s gotta would, amirite??

So everything is going great until we come across headlights behind us therefore we understand IT’S THE COPS. We become dressed as rapid as humanly feasible and after a couple of frantic moments of, „YOU’RE SAID TO BE THE BUTCH ONE,” „NO YOU MIGHT BE,” we choose to take equal responsibility and in addition we both get free from the auto. The policeman is a huge middle-aged guy and plainly shocked observe two women arise through the car. He’s just about all, „What are you girls undertaking back right here?” and I cannot actually imagine sex took place to him as a chance, despite the fact that we were wet, disheveled, the auto was actually passionate, etc. HETEROSEXISM AT the FINEST! Therefore we’re like, „Oh, uh, chilling out, sorry.” The guy eyes us suspiciously and says, „Well, i have reached bring your details.” My lady is freaking around about her moms and dads obtaining wind of such a thing, but he assures you it’s simply program procedure. So the guy hands you a notepad and has now all of us record our names (why he don’t only inquire about our very own certificates, I have no clue). The guy shines their flashlight therefore we can see the notepad immediately after which I notice … my personal gf’s hand is COVERED in blood. I guess I’d gotten my duration while having sex and hadn’t seen. Thus IMMEDIATELY the cop is like, „WAIT, YOU’RE BLEEDING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” And my girlfriend sees and freaks out and comprises some crazy tale about having slashed herself throughout the pocket-knife on her keychain. The policeman claims on searching the auto (for systems?) and, discovering nothing, eventually eventually eventually allows us to get. But not before my personal girl has actually unintentionally become my period blood throughout their notepad.

We vowed to never have intercourse behind a college once more ( not never ever in a vehicle, cuz that is only too-good), subsequently chuckled for like 6 months right. Consistently afterwards we might joke in regards to the time we had gotten caught ‘”red-handed.”

+

4. Damp T-Shirt Contest

I reside in an university dorm, as really does my personal now ex-girlfriend. One night we had been inside her room, having a smashing good-time checking out the strap-on she’d only purchased from Edens Fantasies. As things were planning to truly „explode,” the fire alarm went down. My sweetheart was actually looking to get the strap on-off, although straps had been twisted, everyone was yelling for the hall means, all of our RA had been knocking about door, I was naked and I also could not discover my personal bra, i did not have footwear, she was still twisted into the damn use… She wound up only pulling the model outside of the funnel, organizing some sweatpants on on it, and in addition we ran outside, neither folks in footwear, me personally only sporting a t-shirt and a set of the woman shorts… and it’s really pouring. My personal t-shirt is actually white. There isn’t a bra. Not surprisingly, it was an uncomfortable evening.

+

5. The 69’ers

My personal girl and I also had been attempting to 69 the very first time. We believed it would be gorgeous to try new things during sex. I became toward the base and she was at the top. Okay, so picture my personal face-on the woman snatch and well the rest is perfectly up to your own creativeness. Well I happened to be style of uncomfortable since I didn’t have a lot mind service. And so I made a decision to raise my mind some in order that i possibly could put some cushions under there or something like that. Well… as I had been wanting to move my mind a little she will need to have noticed something was actually happening and somewhat pushed down. Well, not these types of recommended because the woman whole vagina/bottom half moved right up into my personal face. Yea, we laughed for a complete short while from then on.

+

6. Oops!

When in high school I found myself fingerbanging this truly hot girl at the woman household and she squirted. She really was astonished, and I possibly ended up being too, but she started weeping! And I also had been younger and extremely strange, and that I nevertheless don’t know precisely why but we began chuckling, hard. Of which point she slapped me (totally deserved it), went to the bathroom returned and collected my personal garments (taking walks forms). In order that ended up being sufficient but, I am not also joking whenever I declare that daily this tale haunts myself i need to air-five Dan Savage since it thus improves: as I are making I see her mommy and that I have instantly stressed but act cute and simple because I became an overall charmer: „Bye, thank you for having me personally,” along with other these bullshit. When I switch from the lady, she got myself from the elbow and mentioned, „not actually drilling touch my personal girl again, dyke.” If only I would said, and/or simply believed some thing clever and bitchy but I just stated, „sorry sorry” performed this shameful bowing movement right after which i-cried from the drive home.

We probably wrecked that household though so it is cool.

+

7. Ice Cubes

Onetime I found myself having sexy time using my gf when – feeling particularly turned-on and fresh – I interupted the intercourse stating, „i’ll go get ice, i’m going to be back.” When I ended up being getting off the bed my personal gf pointed to a wet spot in which I have been, stating, „Take a look what you remaining!” and giggling. Laughing, I then indicated where she had been and said, „Have a look what YOU kept!” Strike one. Throughout the bed in which my personal sweetheart had been was a tiny small streak of poop. She instantly burst into tears. I happened to be shocked. Our hot time had used an abrupt change for any worse. As my girl’s sobs grew more powerful I found it harder and harder to supress my personal laughter until at long last it burst out of lips. Strike two. At the my gf – nevertheless sobbing – stood up and started anxiously stripping the sheets from sleep. She quickly paced across place getting brand new sheets on, blubbering about how precisely gross she thought and just how embarrassed she was. I helplessly watched and attempted to invest terms of service advising the woman I didn’t believe it had been that gross. „it is not an issue, you just did not rub perfectly!” hit three. She collapsed with the floor after the sleep, pulled the big comforter up around the woman system, sobbed, and ate an entire box of snacks for the following twenty moments. Finally, she calmed down, and from now on we make fun of regarding it. However, it had been among funniest and yet the majority of horrifying experiences of my personal sexual life.

+

8. Stuck Fisting

Thus, my personal sweetheart and I were viewing some porn on Cyber Dyke one night and got truly into it, therefore we switched it off going play. I was fingerblasting their and each and every time I could think that she was actually near to climax, We backed off to try to prolong circumstances. This proceeded for half an hour. At long last had enough and desired her to finish, therefore I upset to fisting her, which was anything relatively brand-new for of us during the time. Whenever she ultimately emerged, it was truly powerful, it really hurt my personal hand. I gradually went along to just take my give fully out and really, she didn’t would you like to ignore it, lol. We were caught. I was entirely panicked, i did not think I found myself ever-going to have my personal offer. Neither among united states realized what to do, therefore she begrudgingly labeled as the woman sis and dished the problem to the girl. We heard uproarious laughter from opposite end associated with the phone for like five full minutes, whilst my hand continues to be stuck. Ultimately, the woman jackass sis decided to be wonderful and do a tiny bit Googling about the subject to assist united states away and I at long last worked my personal fist free of charge. We never ever lived that down though, the woman sibling nevertheless teases myself about any of it mostly continuously.

http://www.rencontresenior.net

+

9. Rainbow Gathering

When my girl (of 6+ many years) and I met up, I became younger and inexperienced. Really unskilled. We were located in a home that would be regarded as a kind of indoor Rainbow collecting with seven other roommates, straight across from several frat houses,and very close to the campus of a large public university. Nobody locked the leading doorway because everyone was also stoned to keep in mind where their unique techniques had been. My girl and that I had recently bought all of our basic strap-on. Once I put it on for the first time, after approximately one hour of strap adjusting and dildo placement, my girl burst into nervous fun. Seeing a dildo abruptly sprout from my personal big-tits, big-ass, buzzcut self most likely seemed some ridiculous. Ten full minutes later she had become on the silliness from it all to provide me a blowjob. Then the home unwrapped. A burly looking, demonstrably intoxicated frat dude wandered in, stared at you for a moment, immediately after which mentioned, „Ohhhhhh. Sorry, I thought it was my personal friend’s space,” in a tone that communicated both a feeling of shock and enjoyment, like he’d merely won the lotto or something. Right after which the guy endured indeed there, looking. My personal gf, dealing with the surprise initially, informed him to get the bang away. The guy turned and was presented with, not towards the entry way. My sweetheart, having turned in to 6 foot of pure femme anger from this time, got up-and chased him the bang away from home, nude. I found myself remaining for the bedroom, choosing whether or not to disturb the sensitive stability of straps that presented the dildo set up or perhaps to put my tiger striped gown (provided to me as a gift from my grandma) during the whole ordeal and hope it don’t drop available. I decided on aforementioned, and timidly made my personal way to avoid it to sign up inside the drunk frat boy herding.

+

10. Shower World

My girlfriend and that I had simply done getting it on subtly inside the shower with the dressing space when you look at the movie theater at my school. She sweetly kissed myself throughout the check and came in for a hug. Instinctively I instantly bro-patted her on the back with two taps immediately after which believed instantly „what the fuck ended up being that?… I am hoping she does not notice/say any such thing.” We conducted in for a supplementary second to pay for your possibly-strange bro pat. However once we pulled apart, she looked over myself, bursts into laughter and stated, „Did you only pat me about back…?” We looked down in total embarrassment. „Was that expected to mean

good job outdated bean

or something like that?” I was awesome petrified by the entire ordeal at the time however now everytime we now have an especially great rousing rounded of sex some body becomes patted on back.

Vote for the favorite story
here
! Winners might be revealed next week.

Many stuff occurred in lesbian sex this week!

+
The Rumpus examined

The need of Certain Behaviours

, an assortment by Shannon Cain that offers several point of views on sex and identity:

„obvious sexual summaries gasoline nearly all Cain’s most readily useful passages, as does her refreshingly agnostic and all-embracing perspective on sexual interest and identification. In „this is why It begins,” the protagonist Jane starts the story with a „boy” and a „girl” she loves equally: „the lady is actually fond of her strap-on. The son is actually attracted to cunnilingus. This is rewarding to Jane. Plus, Jane can say this on the woman: ‘It would-be great if the penis happened to be larger.’ Jane would not make this statement toward man, although it may be somewhat correct.” Jane ultimately ends up with neither the child nor the girl, nevertheless the tale never ever suggests that she should or could reach an identity-limiting epiphany, and rather concludes with a separate variety of bittersweet irony that I won’t reveal.”

+ some individuals are questioning whether intercourse dependency is actually actual or is constructed by people that only have a lot of gender.
Relating to
the

Vancouver Sun

, feminine intercourse dependency is actually growing, even though the examples the article functions tend to be flawed (pornography, s&m, and having matters are cited as proof that „this thing is morphing inside front folks”). But odd statements aside, this article increases a few interesting points.
Per

Jezebel:

„That uncontrollable intimate behavior is actually an unpleasant disorder is obvious, but what’s not yet determined is really what, exactly, constitutes the essential difference between gender addiction and plain old uncontrollable conduct, or if intercourse addiction actually is out there, no less than inside the vision of some mental health experts. One critic of intimate dependency warns that conflating intimate fixation with gender dependency does „real” addicts a disservice. This basically means, there’s a significant difference between getting an alcoholic and preference porno a touch too much. For example, the guy offers samples of other activities for which individuals engage compulsively— like workout, stamp collecting, and music fandom. No one’s „addicted” to Radiohead. About, I don’t think so.”

+ Having a „weird” title can affect your on line online dating selections.
Relating to
research of 47,000 people of a German online dating service, people will „notably unattractive” first names obtained fewer profile hits compared to those with „notably appealing” names:

Very first names tend to be attached to stereotypes. Whenever we come to be familiar with people, the look of them takes on a task, but very does just what this individual is known as. Which the basic information we have. This feeling provides a robust effect on how exactly we process additional info about it person. If a person has actually a dubious title, we quite often instantly connect him with a dubious label. Therefore we go to consider all more info predicated on this dubiousness.

+

If flirting is actually an appropriate device for journalists has now already been the subject of discussion inside the UK, as a parliamentary report accredited after the phone-hacking scandal
claims it is not
:

„within the heading „ten strategies employed by some within the mass media – beware,” it states: „Flirting. Usually interlinked with alcoholic beverages. Designed to help you to fall the defences and state a lot more than you meant. Be careful.”

Disclaimer:


Every one of the pictures on NSFW Sundays tend to be obtained from numerous tumblrs and never are part of all of us. Each is linked and paid to your good the capabilities assured of bringing in extra traffic to your tumblrs and photographers who’ve blessed united states with this specific imagery. The introduction of an image right here should not be interpreted as an assertion on the model’s sex identification or intimate orientation. When there is a photograph incorporated right here that is assigned to you and you prefer it got rid of, please e-mail the technology director at cee [at] autostraddle dot com and it surely will be removed rapidly, no questions requested.